Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
