marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
