thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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