no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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