all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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