What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
