After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
