So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
