dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
