NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I want you more than these girls want KFC
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My penis needs a shock collar
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
