Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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