How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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