Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

You're my little dorito

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(615): View more from Tennessee

He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(870): View more from Arkansas

So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button

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(813): View more from Florida

thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not

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(541): View more from Oregon

Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face

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(775): View more from Nevada

When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home

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(303): View more from Colorado

So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people

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