Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.