Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.

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  (513): thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES. http://tfl.nu/uymn
  Replies (4) Good night (749) Bad night (2664)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet

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  (816): Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet http://tfl.nu/ftvp
  Replies (7) Good night (4640) Bad night (958)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.

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  (320): Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year. http://tfl.nu/8zt2
  Replies (10) Good night (1170) Bad night (4105)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life

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  (740): he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life http://tfl.nu/cbjj
  Replies (24) Good night (5421) Bad night (2431)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.

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  (219): Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills. http://tfl.nu/rh2h
  Replies (5) Good night (2699) Bad night (785)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....

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  (817): Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system.... http://tfl.nu/zett
  Replies (9) Good night (2839) Bad night (842)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.

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  (615): The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment. http://tfl.nu/6ofo
  Replies (7) Good night (2127) Bad night (895)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.

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  (615): Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight. http://tfl.nu/ami0
  Replies (22) Good night (4150) Bad night (1831)
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  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS

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  (340): I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS http://tfl.nu/sha5
  Replies (8) Good night (1294) Bad night (644)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.

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  (443): He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us. http://tfl.nu/2gzn
  Replies (7) Good night (1090) Bad night (1015)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things

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  (248): Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things http://tfl.nu/ht36
  Replies (9) Good night (1319) Bad night (720)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.

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  (404): I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/xlvi
  Replies (1) Good night (675) Bad night (406)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.

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  (814): Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn. http://tfl.nu/bgu3
  Replies (2) Good night (499) Bad night (273)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?

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  (775): Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck? http://tfl.nu/o867
  Replies (6) Good night (532) Bad night (245)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.

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  (806): Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom. http://tfl.nu/zajb
  Replies (2) Good night (936) Bad night (304)

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