Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.

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  (773): Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem. http://tfl.nu/9i07
  Replies (30) Good night (5100) Bad night (707)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka

  (231): View more from Michigan

  the cocktail of hope

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  (734): I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka (231): the cocktail of hope http://tfl.nu/t9k0
  Replies (20) Good night (4973) Bad night (900)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.

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  (304): I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats. http://tfl.nu/8c7z
  Replies (9) Good night (801) Bad night (3720) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut

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  (507): there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut http://tfl.nu/7k06
  Replies (40) Good night (5713) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit

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  (773): I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit http://tfl.nu/6wkt
  Replies (12) Good night (9469) Bad night (933) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend

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  (303): How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend http://tfl.nu/ip7i
  Replies (18) Good night (4433) Bad night (1064) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.

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  (303): Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel. http://tfl.nu/te56
  Replies (10) Good night (6518) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.

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  (610): I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously. http://tfl.nu/zt1t
  Replies (10) Good night (1055) Bad night (2735) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?

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  (512): They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true? http://tfl.nu/qtx2
  Replies (13) Good night (2486) Bad night (1261) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.

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  (519): All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am. http://tfl.nu/roar
  Replies (13) Good night (1791) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.

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  (630): Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me. (1-630): Pulling out all the stops on being a lady. http://tfl.nu/6gwr
  Replies (2) Good night (1220) Bad night (374)
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  (457): View more from

  Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though

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  (457): Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though http://tfl.nu/vzyv
  Replies (8) Good night (1132) Bad night (385) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.

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  (928): The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death. http://tfl.nu/lz31
  Replies (11) Good night (370) Bad night (1676) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while

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  (+61): I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while http://tfl.nu/v6v9
  Replies (2) Good night (445) Bad night (234) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes

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  (407): I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes http://tfl.nu/re4k
  Replies (4) Good night (537) Bad night (281)

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