My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
and she was petting her beer can
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
