How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
MIDGETS
????
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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