we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
