were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
