So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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