Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
