he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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