There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
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Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
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Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!