Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
its like you know when i get waxed