i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?