My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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