my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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