This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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