They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
