I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
