I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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