Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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