Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
FUCK WHALES
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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