If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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