I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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