This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
