i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
