problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
now i know why i became what i already was.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
