I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
