we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Too much gin, very little bucket
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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