wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
