well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
