ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize