Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I supernannyed him into submission
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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