My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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