Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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