If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
time to smoke my breakfast
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
