I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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