Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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