I think I died a long time ago.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
