But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
