Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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