"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
