I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
