Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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