we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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