I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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