Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
