There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
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