Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
