Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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