Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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