dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize